TURBULENCE 3: HEAVY METAL... Satan Is Their Motor... Why Cultists Are Goofy As All Giddy-Out

So, here I was in need of something to do. Any strenuous activity was out, as I had already expended the day's energy chasing down my dog and putting out a few stay fires around the house (always good to jump on that right away). I had already been reading a bit and now my brain desired a little downtime. Suppose I could watch the Republican Conventions but I wanted brainlessness, not rampant ignorance and hypocrisy. Besides, I had spent the better part of the week unsuccessfully trying to avoid their B.S. spin as they trotted out candidates they themselves didn't believe in. Looks like it's the movie channels.

Good thing the third and so far last TURBULENCE movie was starting on Cinemax. Yeah, good thing. Just swell.

I had seen the original TURBULENCE shortly after it came out. Sure it looked horrible, but I had a short-lived semi-crush on Lauren Holly at the time thanks to PICKET FENCES. Besides, it had Ray Liotta in it. This guy starred in GOODFELLAS. Ray Liotta didn't do trashy movies. This was just as Liotta decided to spend the next ten years showing just how low he could sink. Of course, TURBULENCE turned out to be hilariously bad, a bizarre hybrid of AIRPORT '75 and PASSENGER 57 with Liotta chewing so much scenery, you'd swear it was made out of pie crust.

But even the makers of TURBULENCE look like Thomas Pychon compared to the knuckleheads that cooked up TURBULENCE 3: HEAVY METAL.





There is nothing in common with previous TURBULENCE films, except that there is a plane in jeopardy. One might think that meant they got no name actors to appear in this film. You'd be half right. They didn't get Liotta sure, but they did sucker some people with frequent flyer miles and got them to appear in what is sure to be damn near a career lowpoint for all. Most conspicuous is Joe Mantegna, one of David Mamet's favorite actors and Springfield's own Fat Tony. He's been made into a character actor over the years. These days, rather than look at the scripts, he seems to be trying to set some sort of record for busiest actor in the world by taking whatever project lands in his lap. In the last ten years, he has appeared in nearly sixty projects. Those are Debbie Rochon numbers, folks! Also in the cast is Gabrielle Anwar, who had a promising start in the famous tango scene from SCENT OF A WOMAN. Unfortunately, she was never able to capitalize on that success and while she is still a top-billed actress, it's in small and often rather bland projects. Along for the ride is Craig Schieffer, no stranger to straight-to-video entertainment, it's easy for folks to forget that he featured in films like A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT. But who am I kidding? I would much rather watch a cheesefest like TURBULENCE 3 than A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT. I saved the best for last. Rutger Hauer, who will never stop being one of the coolest things walking, no matter how many bad movies he appears in, has one doozy of a part. He plays the co-pilot of the plane, who is actually the leader of a Satanic cult. Oh yes, we really need to address this plot so you can understand why this is so much more interesting than the same old disaster movie formula.

First of, I have to tell you what I think of Satanists. Being a fan of horror films, you might think I take these guys seriously. After all, there are some very dangerous people out there with some crazy ideas. But let's just put this all on the table, most so-called Satanists are so unintentionally campy, they're hilarious. These guys don't have a clue for the most part. Check out the old services by Anton Lavey and you won't see a glimpse into the dark side, you'll see a bald dork in a devil costume hanging out with drugged-out naked chicks. It's pure theatre and it's not even good theatre. Devil worship may have darkened it's colors over the years, but it's most vocal proponents are still idiots in makeup prancing around talking about darkness without really grasping what true darkness is. Darkness is murder and mayhem true, it's also everything negative in the world, meaning everything that pisses these guys off in the first place. Feeling persecuted? Too bad, because without even realizing it, you are serving that same force. There aren't white hats and black hats out there, waging a battle with magic. I'm a comic book geek and even I find the prospect ridiculous. There is however forces of positive and negative energy and without getting preachy, I will say that the guys who think their rebellion is based around playing dress up are so absurd they wind up being kind of adorable.

Flashback to 2001, when people were scared to death of Marilyn Manson. Okay, actually this was a couple years behind the times even then, but bear with us. I should point out that despite what I said about people who claim to be real Satanists, I'm on board with people like Manson. He continues a fine tradition set up by people like Alice Cooper before him. Manson is well aware what he does is theatre and fortunately, he has some amazing tunes to back it up. Today, even though most people have moved on, I'm still a fan. In TURBULENCE 3, they have a Marilyn Manson-type horror shock rocker amusingly named Slade Craven - a name so metal you can't even say it without grabbing your crotch and sacrificing a kitten to the unholy lords of the underworld. Go on, try it. Just don't come complaining to me when the SPCA comes calling.

Craven is all set to give a concert on board an airplane as it flies at 30,000 feet and stream the broadcast over a slow Internet connection. After all, what better place to hold a special effects heavy heavy metal concert than in the middle of a tiny thin airborne tube? And what better way to make sure the effect of being there is completely lost than by webcasting it on 2001-era Internet technology?

Well, even this doesn't go according to plan. Not only is there a dangerous storm underway (which really doesn't endanger anyone too much), but a group of terrorists have infiltrated the plane. But not just any terrorists, nope we're talking members of a Satanic cult that does it's recruiting from the friggin' Internet. They are so clever in their infiltration that their number includes Rutger the co-pilot, another member of the audience and a Slade Craven lookalike, and... well, okay that's it. It is said, they have murderous accomplices on the ground, but don't sweat it because this plot point is never resolved. The Satanists kidnap and tie the real Slade Craven up in the cargo hold and accuse him of being a false prophet. The lookalike takes his place and takes the plane hostage while the plane sets itself on a crash course for Kansas. I wondered if this would really be a big loss to the world, but then I'm a bit more cynical than I used to be.

Meanwhile, Joe Mantegna stands in the control center for the webcast and talks to the fake Craven and remains completely ineffectual throughout the entire film. One of his agents (Anwar) had been dispatched earlier to arrest a hacker (Scheffer) who illustrates how rebellious he is by sporting a goofy bandanna and a soul patch. It soon becomes clear however that the hacker may be the only one who can help the people on the plane. It makes moderately more sense when you watch the film.

Mantegna, Scheffer and Anwar all spend their scenes in small rooms which probably means they were able to film their scenes in record time. It manages to hold it's budget well because the average person might not realize they are simply switching between three small and sparsely populated sets.

TURBULENCE 3 is a sloppy, stupid, goofy ride from beginning to end. It's not a truly wonderful film for the AWS mold. It lacks the gratuitous sex and/or violence and also lacks the fun sense of adventure. What is does have are some amazingly out-out-touch goth and metal stereotypes throughout. It also boasts enough logic-defying moments to be an amusing time waster.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get my red satin devil outfit from the dry cleaners.

NIGHT OF THE CLOCKS.... A Fitting Farewell to Jean Rollin?.... the Master of Gothic Horror You Maybe Haven't Heard Of

Maybe you've heard of Jean Rollin and maybe you haven't. He isn't exactly a secret amongst genre circles. However, it has always shocked me to no end that this director has never been fully embraced by the goth culture. My guess is if a bunch of the younger people in the culture would discover films like REQUIEM FOR A VAMPIRE or THE IRON ROSE, they'd eat it up.

For those still unaware, Jean Rollin is a French director who has been working since the 1960s. He has worked in various genres, but has thrived in gothic horror. One thing is for sure - when you're watching a Jean Rollin film, you know it. His films are often characterized by gothic and decaying landscapes, fairytale logic, vampirism and erotic underpinnings. Rollin was never a big hit in his home country, but he has developed a fan base outside of France's borders.




Rollin has slowed down in recent years. A few years back, he surprised many with the release of two new projects - TWO ORPHAN VAMPIRES and FIANCE OF DRACULA. Since then, there hasn't been much activity. Now, Rollin may be directing his final film, THE NIGHT OF THE CLOCKS.

Fangoria has the story, along with exclusive photos:

“This is a crazy movie,” says legendary French fear filmmaker Jean Rollin about his latest effort, THE NIGHT OF THE CLOCKS. “But it is also my best.” According to the director, well-known for such highly regarded Eurofare as REQUIEM FOR A VAMPIRE and LIPS OF BLOOD, his latest venture signifies a more mystical approach to his token Gothic atmospherics. “This movie is about a parallel universe,” he continues. “It is about a young girl who becomes involved in a mystery and learns about a passage to another world. It is a very subtle horror story. It is also likely to be my last film.”

Now 70, Rollin says that this swan song is the perfect way to say goodbye, and thank you, to his legion of supporters. “I include footage from many of my old movies in this,” he reveals. “I would say that this film is everything I have tried to showcase with my others—it brings my entire career full circle. It is a return to the old castles and strange atmosphere of my earlier work. It has more in common with REQUIEM FOR A VAMPIRE than, for instance, THE LIVING DEAD GIRL, which was full of special effects.” Rollin provided Fango the exclusive images above and below from THE NIGHT OF THE CLOCKS; look for more on the movie in a future issue of Fango.

If you haven't checked out a good portion of Rollin's filmography, you're missing something special. Check out his gothic horrors. I cannot promise that everyone will be receptive to his style. But those who are will find a truly original artist at work.

Jean Rollin waits in the wings at Fantasia 2007.

HAZEL COURT 1926 - 2008

Hazel Court, a very talented actress featured in many films beloved in these pages, passed away recently. As is sadly the case with many thespians from the genre, her death was briefly mentioned in several entertainment outlets and then quickly forgotten.

But Court was someone who had a fascinating and storied career, working for more than three decades at her craft, only to pursue an entirely different art form later in life.

A fine English lady, Court was one of the "Gainsborough Girls" so important to the British film industry following World War II. She appeared in many mysteries, thrillers and film noir films throughout the 1940s. Her first appearance in genre circles came with Vernon Sewell's GHOST SHIP, a 1952 obscurity that is starting to get a small following, thanks in part to renewed interest in Sewell's filmography among cult cinema fans. Next came a starring role in the cheeseball classic, DEVIL GIRL FROM MARS, where she played a very non-devilish human at the mercy of the title character.

In 1957, he truly endeared herself to a new generation of horror fans by starring in Terence Fisher's unquestionable classic, THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN as the tormented Elizabeth. She teamed with Fisher again two years later with THE MAN WHO COULD CHEAT DEATH.

Court did not confine herself to British film roles. After starring in Sidney J. Furie's DR. BLOOD'S COFFIN, she began to appear in another gothic horror mainstay. When Roger Corman began his classic Edgar Allen Poe cycle, he saw an immediate talent in Court. He first starring role for Corman was in his third Poe adaptation, THE PREMATURE BURIAL. She would also star in Corman's comedic THE RAVEN and my personal favorite of the Poe films, THE MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH. The featured role in this latter film is truly a departure for Court. Just as THE RAVEN was a comedic change of pace, RED DEATH showed Court could be villainous and duplicitous as well. In that film, she played Juliana the mistress to the demonic Prospero, played by Vincent Price. Her wickedness is trumped only by her jealousy as Prospero becomes enamored with the pure and virginal Francesca.

MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH would be Court's final major big screen role. She did however appear in many classic television shows. Among them: THE INVISIBLE MAN, BONANZA, EDGAR WALLACE MYSTERY THEATRE, DANGER MAN, ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS, THRILLER, THE TWILIGHT ZONE, TWELVE O'CLOCK HIGH, BURKE'S LAW, GIDGET, WILD WILD WEST and MANNIX.

And yet, after the early 1970s, she for the most part retired. She would appear uncredited in THE FINAL CONFLICT in a passing role, but otherwise her filmography ends in 1972. She focused mainly on painting and sculpting in later years, something for which she became widely respected. She still remembered her fans however and could be seen at events and conventions until very recently.

Hazel Court was married to Dermont Walsh in 1949 and the two had one child together. That child, Sally Walsh, appeared as a younger version of Court's character in THE CURSE OF FRANKENSTEIN. Court and Walsh divorced in 1963 and the following year she married Don Taylor, director of THE ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU (1977), DAMIEN: OMEN II and THE FINAL COUNTDOWN among others. They had two children together, Courtney and John Taylor. Court and Taylor were together until his death in 1998.

Hazel Court suffered a fatal heart attack on April 15th, 2008. She leaves behind legions of mourning fans who will continue to remember and support her amazing work.